One of the things that I was most excited for when I was pregnant was to be just one person after the pregnancy. I never really felt like myself when I was pregnant and I was looking forward to being me again after the baby came. Now that the baby has come, I am still looking forward to being just one person. I feel like I have a baby attached to me all the time still. I haven't figured out how to have time to do the things that need to get done around the house or to do the things that I want to do during the day because I have Nicoley to take care of. I really have to get a handle on this Mom thing.
I think some Mom attributes come instinctively. Like learning what each of her sounds mean and figuring out what she needs and being able to give it to her. But, managing my time for myself is not instinctive. It is like I don't even realize that all my time is being given to Nicoley because I want to give it to her. I want to make her happy all the time and make sure she has everything she needs even if that means I have to sacrifice for myself. I think that I had the right of it when I was pregnant. Babies ARE evil! They make you want to care for them and entertain them and make them happy. But, I'm not even sorry or resentful. I really feel like all I want is to make her happy. A truly evil plot the babies have concocted. They get us and even if we realize that we've been gotten, it doesn't make us want to change our actions. Diabolical.
I would like to get into a routine soon. I like to be on a routine and I'm sure that Nicole will like it too, I just have to get her into one. Everyday seems to be a surprise right now. I'm never sure if she will sleep or will be fussy or if she will eat at the same time of day that she did the day before. It is very tiring for me. But, I am starting to do the things that I used to love to do pre baby. Sarah and Mark came over and made us lasagna last night and we are going to our dinner at Marie's that we used to do once a month. Now, if only I can get my game nights back, I will think myself a multi-tasking successful Mom.
Anthon as Homer
3 years ago
8 comments:
Those first 6 weeks or so can feel sssooo long. But then her routine starts to fall into place and you start being able to leave her a little more and the exhausted blur of that first little while is almost forgotten. Almost:) Babies are by far the world's most effective and charming dictators.
Like I said before, it'll take a while, but you'll find your groove.
I've found that the best time for "me" time is during her morning nap. I know that that one will always be the longest, and I can count on at least an hour and a half of quiet. Also, now that she's getting more independent and can entertain herself quite happily, I can get more done during the day.
Don't be afraid to let Nicole "play" by herself in a bouncer or on a floor mat with things to look at while you get some house cleaning or other you-stuff done. Let her learn early that being independent is good. (Someone, I don't recall who, told me that she knows someone who wishes she had done that because her two-year-old still won't play alone.)
(Of course, none of this really comes into effect until after the first 6 or so weeks after you've had time to heal and don't need to be sleeping every time she's sleeping.) :)
It's all a conspiracy!
I knew there was a diabolical look on Nicoley's face when I last saw her! Oh she's a tricky one for sure. Don't worry though Babes, things will smooth out with time, it's only been three weeks so I feel like your learning curve isn't quite complete. Kudos to tyrannical baby though, gotcha there.
I guess I will be patient. I like that play alone thing, I will try that.
So, I have yet to read this book, but I have big plans to some day. A friend of mine blogged about it when her son was about 9 months old, so he was in a routine and stuff, but she said this book saved her life. It's called Sidetracked Home Executives. She said that suddenly she had some time for her and for getting stuff done. It was like magic! :)
You're doing great! I think it's important to find the balance between being on a schedule and being flexible. I think you're right on track.
All good advice on this page. Babies are effortless in their ability to wrap your heart around their little fingers. It's God given. You are a good mom. Be flexible and trust your instincts.
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