Thursday, January 30, 2014

Snow Fun!

Some time in December, it snowed... and then we played in it. That is really all I remember about this. Other than it was really cold. And I made those brimmed hats for the kids.

Dano is so photogenic no matter what face he is making.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Remember Christmas?

Even though I am a month late, Christmas totally happened. We were sick, but it occurred. I am just late in posting because I have been sick with growing two babies for a while now.

We went to see Santa at the Riverwoods because you can take pictures with him for free. You just have to bear the cold to go and see him. No big.

Luckily, neither child was afraid of Santa this year. They just sat on his lap and Nicole asked for a turtle (which she did not get) and Dano didn't ask for anything. He just looked at me like, "Why have you placed me on this man's lap?"

Christmas eve, we went to Jake and Jill's for Derington Christmas dinner. Even though I was feeling crummy, it was fun to be with my family. Last year, only I went because the kids were too sick to go.

Christmas morning was full of tears. Even though the kids got some great stuff for Christmas, I suspect that it was a little overwhelming getting a bunch of gifts at once. Or maybe it is just difficult to watch your sibling open a gift and you want it so bad.  Difficult to say.

And that is the only picture of me on Christmas morning because I was behind the camera. That is Nicole modeling her new robe which at first she hated and then she eventually loved after we forced her to try it on. Kids!

Christmas evening, we went to our Kimball family dinner at Momma Kimball's and it was funish. The kids were still emotional about... everything, so it involved a lot of tears... again. Christmas was a day of tears for us. The day after Christmas was a lot better.

We had fun even though it was emotional and I was sick, but we all survived.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

11 Weeks

Remember how I didn't take pictures of myself during my Dano pregnancy because I was embarrassed by how large I was and then that was totally lame. Good thing I have recovered from that and I totally want to document how huge I am going to get with twins right?

So, I have started to swell earlier than is normal for my pregnancies and you can already see a little baby bump... or a big baby bump depending on who you are asking.

I will start with how the babies are doing. Baby 1 and Baby 2 (as they will be called until we know gender) are doing great. I had an ultrasound this week and they both had arms and legs and heartbeats and were wiggling around in there like little sea monkeys (I don't know what sea monkeys actually look like).

We did the ultrasound with my brother Norm and Nicole figured out what was going on as soon as we got there. Norm started doing the ultrasound and Nicole asked, "Are we looking at a dead baby?" Because she remembered the last time we did an ultrasound with Norm and I had to explain to her that the baby's heart had stopped. But this time, I said, "Nope, that baby is alive, it has a heart beat." Then she got all excited. Then, when Norm was showing us both babies at the same time, Nicole said, "Wait! There are two babies in there." I said, "Yeah, there are two babies." And she said, "Twins? It is just what I wished for." She was very happy excited to learn that we are expecting two babies. She is very concerned about the status of the babies. She keeps asking, "Are there STILL two babies in your tummy?" It is sweet.

Dano is completely indifferent to the babies. He just knows, "Don't kick Mommy because there's babies in her tummy."

Here is how I am feeling at 11 weeks...

Food cravings: Barbeque sauce, meat, blueberries, and granola... but not all together.

Food aversions: Pizza, pasta, and asian food of any kind.

Nausea: Only in the second half of the day. It usually starts around 2pm.

What Hurts: Pains in my abdomen as my organs continue to try and find their new home. Cramping as my uterus expands twice as fast as usual.

Sleep: Falling asleep is hard because I get worried at night but once I am asleep, it is great... until one of my kids wakes up in the night.

Movement: Not yet.

Gender: Unknown... we could get anything... and everything.

What I am looking forward to: No more nausea. Come on second trimester.

What I miss: Fish. I want fish (weirdly) but I can only have very little bits of it. And I miss sane Becky. I often feel like an emotional crazy person.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Double Blessed

Matt and I have been trying to get pregnant for six months. Every month, I would be disappointed when I, once again, was not pregnant. I started to think there was something wrong with my body. I felt like maybe I wasn't ovulating, or maybe we were missing our window due to Matt's work schedule or so many other things that could be happening. So, in November, I pulled out my trusty book, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and dutifully tracked my cycle. But, a few weeks into my cycle I concluded that I was really bad at it because my cycle was not looking like the cycles in the book. I decided that perhaps my body really was way off.

December was a month of sickness for us. All of us caught the flu and we were coughing and sniffling and aching and miserable. I was a week into my flu and 32 days into my cycle and my temperature was still high and I couldn't figure out if it was the flu or if possibly I was pregnant. I was so sick and feeling so crummy. I had to know because I wanted to take cold medicine and drink copious amounts of Airborne and I couldn't do that if I was pregnant. So, the week before Christmas, surprisingly, on the same day that my lost pregnancy baby would have been due, I took a pregnancy test. And it immediately showed me that little plus sign. I started crying with relief and happiness. My body works! I am pregnant! It has finally happened.

When I hit my five week mark, I was still very sick with the flu and feeling nauseated on top of that, so I went to the doctor to make sure there wasn't something more serious going on like an ear infection or sinus infection or bronchitis or something. The doctor I saw was not my regular doc and he informed me that I was fine and just had to wait out the flu and that it was way to early for me to be feeling nauseated due to pregnancy so it was probably the flu making my stomach sick. Sometimes I really hate doctors when they tell me I shouldn't be feeling what I am feeling. Because no woman feels sick before the 7 week mark right? That just never happens. Well, I made it through Christmas despite my feeling sick and feeling pregnant and it was a good Christmas.

From the start of this pregnancy, I have been super nervous because I lost the last one and I have also been super emotional. It reminds me a lot of my Nicole pregnancy where I felt stomach sick right away and super emotional right away. I know that my nerves and anxiety affect how I feel physically, which probably has a lot to do with it. I find myself feeling super anxious, especially at night when I am alone (because Matt works graves). I have trouble sleeping because I can't shake the anxiety; my heart starts to beat frantically and I feel the urge to do things, anything, to keep my shakey hands busy. This has been new for me.

So, because I am a super nervous preggo, I wanted to get in to see the doc as soon as possible to ensure that this baby has a heartbeat, unlike my last one. But, because I discovered my pregnancy around the holidays, the doctors office was closed a lot. So, I got an appointment in my eighth week of pregnancy. 

With my previous pregnancy, I went to my brother Norm for an ultrasound at nine weeks and he discovered the lack of heartbeat, I couldn't do that to my brother again, so I opted to see this new doc I found who does his own ultrasounds just in case we were once again facing a missed miscarriage. I asked Matt to come with me this time since I went by myself for my last pregnancy and it was really hard on me. So, we all went together, kids and all. It was a family affair. 

We got to the doctor's office and the kids were doing really well, if a little wild, and they were just happy that they got to play on Mommy and Daddy's phone's. I went through the regular routine of urine test, questionnaire, and having my blood taken. Then, they moved us to the ultrasound room and I had to get undressed from the waist down and wait. Dan was very confused by this. Even though I had a drape, he kept asking, "Why Mommy naked?" We tried to explain that the doctor had to look at Mommy to make sure I am healthy, but he was not understanding.

We had to wait like 15 minutes for the doctor to come and my anxiety rose the longer I waited. I was just so nervous that we would look and there would once again be no heartbeat. Dr. Holmes finally came in and he got right to it and got the ultrasound going. Because I was 8 weeks, we just did the regular ultrasound rather than the internal one. At first I was scared to look at the screen , but Matt was there holding my hand and I looked as Dr. Holmes moved the ultrasound around my belly. Matt said, "I see the heartbeat." I looked and sure enough there was the little flutter on the screen indicating that the baby indeed had a heartbeat. 

Dr. Holmes said, "Yep, there's the heart beat." Then he moved the ultrasound wand a little and said, "And there is the other one." At first I thought, "What does he mean? does he mean another chamber of the heart?" Matt thought, "What does he mean? Does the baby have two hearts?" But instead, Matt asked, "What do you mean?" And Dr. Holmes said, "There are two in there." Twins, fraternal twins. So, it seems that not only did I ovulate, I double ovulated.

Two babies! I looked at Matt and he looked at me and we both started crying and smiling. Not just one healthy baby, but two! I am pregnant with twins! Even though I kinda had a weird feeling about multiple babies a few days before the ultrasound, I was still surprised. I thought my feeling about multiple babies was just me freaking myself out. Because really, who expects twins? My sister Marie always said that she wanted twins, to which I would reply, "Why would you WANT twins?" But here I am, expecting twins and I am so happy. I am completely freaking out, because how do you take care of two babies, but I am overwhelmingly happy too.

So, we are still early on, and we have to hope for no complications and no miscarriages, but we are so excited. After the initial shock has worn off, Matt and I are having opposite reactions to this new adventure we are on. Matt is in planning mode. Trying to work out how we are going to fit two babies in our small little house, cleaning out closets and trying to get organized so we have room for two babies, searching for houses online in case we need to move, and looking at our finances. I am reading twin blogs on pregnancy, making a mental list of baby supplies I will need, planning out in my mind how I am going to care for Dano and Nicole while dealing with a twin pregnancy. How am I going to do swim lessons for the kids this year? Am I going to be able to take them to do fun activities over the summer even though I will be huge? I also have a family reunion this year that I have been planning for two years and I will be seven months pregnant when it happens. That is weighing heavily on me as well. Matt is preparing himself for when the babies are here, I am just trying to prepare myself for this pregnancy. My job with these babies has already started, but I think Matt is prepping for when he can really help with the babies, when they are actually here.

It is probably well known, that I am not a pleasant pregnant woman. I am emotional and I get sick and I get big; like too big to fit in a booth at a restaurant big. I am not really sure how I am going to handle this one. I asked Dr. Holmes what to expect with a twin pregnancy and he said, "Same as a regular pregnancy, except there are two of them." So, I am going to try and go forth with that attitude. It is just the same as a my other two pregnancies, except there are two in there. I hope for a normal low risk pregnancy with healthy babies delivered at the end. 

I am due August 15th. But, who knows, these babies may come early. But, if this is like my other two pregnancies, they will be on time babies. I am just not entirely sure what to expect. I don't know a lot of twin moms... mostly because I avoid them because they have twins and twins are wild and there are two of them. I prefer to hang out with moms with one to two children around the same ages as my kids. But I guess, soon enough, I will be the scary mom with twins.

After the doctor's appointment, Matt and I were so excited to tell our families. I started making my many many phone calls as I have 6 siblings to call. Everyone's reaction was a little different, but everyone was a little disbelieving when I revealed that I am having twins. "I am pregnant. With twins." "Really?" Matt and I are the first to be expecting twins in our generation of our families. Matt and I both have twin cousins, but there have been no twins had by our generation yet. It is kinda a big deal.

We have decided not to tell Dano and Nicole just yet as it was so hard for Nicole to understand when I lost the baby last time. She kept asking for many months afterward when the baby was coming. So, we will wait until I am farther along and then tell her. We just don't want to burden her with this information if she is not emotionally and mentally prepared to handle an unexpected change in plans.

So, we go on this new adventure. It seems that things are never smooth sailing for Matt and I. It is always some new challenge that we are blessed with. We are doubley blessed with these two babies and we pray for their safe arrival into our life.