Monday, September 08, 2014

My Twins

I thought that I would blog more during my twin pregnancy to keep a record of all that was happening. But, I found myself not wanting to write during my pregnancy. Pregnancy changes me. During my Nicole pregnancy, I didn't want to read; during my Dano pregnancy, I didn't want to draw, and during my twin pregnancy, I just didn't want to write. I go through weird moods during pregnancy. But, despite my lack of writing, I did keep taking pictures of myself to watch myself grow exponentially.

18 weeks
24 weeks

28 weeka

30 weeks

32 weeks

33 weeks

35 weeks

36 weeks
This pregnancy was harder than any one that I have had before. I felt more unable to move and maneuver myself and I was incapacitated around 32 weeks. I stopped going to church, stopped doing chores, and stayed laying down most of the time. I had help from family members and friends all the time. People helped play with Nicole and Dan, helped with meals, helped put the kids to bed, and helped clean my house. I felt very helpless. I had to rely on other people to do all the things that are my job, and I had to ask for help. I didn't like it. It was a very emotional time for me.

My food cravings during the pregnancy mostly consisted of fruits, fish, and meat. I didn't have any major complications during the pregnancy, which was awesome. I was healthy, the babies were healthy, I was just giant and uncomfortable.

I felt the babies moving very early on; before I even hit twelve weeks, I felt the fluttering of the babies movement. There was a lot more pain involved in this pregnancy than in my other pregnancies, perhaps due to the fact that I was growing exponentially faster than normal, and definitely due to double the baby movement. The babies kicking and moving and shifting was very painful and extremely difficult to sleep through.

Sleep was so difficult during the pregnancy. I was never comfortable, one baby seemed to be awake and kicking all the time, and I was overly anxious about everything which meant my brain didn't want to shut down and stop thinking long enough for me to sleep.

I put myself on bed rest eventually in an attempt to keep the babies in as long as I could, but these babies had a mind of their own and came around 36 weeks and 4 days.

I think that I will write my birth story in a different post. But, I will say that we expected to schedule a c-section at 38 weeks, but I went into labor before than. But, I still got a c-section because Baby A was breech and Baby B was transverse.

The babies were born on July 19th, 2014.

After the twins were here and I was in the hospital recovering, I was just so happy to not be pregnant any more. The hospital stay was awesome. I people to take care of the babies, people to take care of me and I had alone time with Matt. I was able to spend time alone with the babies and send them away to the nursery when I needed to sleep. Plus, I got my meals sent to me three times a day and I had round the clock pain killers. I look fondly on those three days. I was in pain from the surgery, but it was still awesome because I had so many paid professionals helping me out.

I had my awesome Mom home with my kids taking care of them while Matt stayed in the hospital with me. I learned after I had Dano and was in the hospital alone while Matt was home with Nicole that it makes me very sad when I have that much time alone. I like being with people much better than being alone.

After the three days, we headed home. I can't tell you much about those first few days at home because they are very much a blur. But, I remember feeling like I was tired all the time, that I was never going to get a prolonged sleep and that I was in constant pain from the surgery and from nursing.

Logan and Scott

Logan and Scott

Logan and Scott

Me and Logan

Logan and Scott


Logan and Scott

After one week, I was falling apart. I was in worse pain, I felt achey, my breasts hurts so bad, and I woke in the middle of the night with a fever of 103 degrees. Matt called the on-call doctor at my OB's office and a doctor who had just delivered a baby did a house call for us at 3am. He gave me a shot of antibiotic and I made an appointment to come in to the office in the morning. Turned out that I had a post-op infection and mastitis. So, they put me on heavy antibiotics which made me feel better, but the twins feel worse. Within days, both twins and I had yeast infections. So, I took the twins back to the doctor for medicine for that. Then, a week later, Logan had goopy eyes, which turned out to be clogged tear ducts and we discovered that both twins had thrush, so we went back to the doctor for that. Two weeks later, the twins had finally hit their full term mark and we took them in to get circumcised, so we went back again to the doctor for that. I feel as if we have been back to the doctor many many times. Since their births, I feel like we have just been trying to find our stasis.

My recovery has been really hard. It turns out that recovering from surgery is a lot more painful and difficult than recovering from birth. Especially since my births are not that physically damaging. But, I am so glad that I have these two babies. I am so grateful that they are here and healthy and safe. I am so grateful that I am healing without a lot of complications.

Scott and Logan two weeks

Me and Scott and Logan two weeks

Scott and Logan two weeks

Dano, Scott, and Matt

Scott two weeks

Me and Logan two weeks

Scott three weeks

Scott and Logan three weeks

Scott and Logan four weeks

Me and Scott four weeks

Scott and Logan four weeks

Scott and Logan four weeks

Scott and Logan five weeks

Logan and Scott five weeks

They are now seven weeks old and it has gotten a little easier because I am more healed and we have a little bit of a routine down. But, I am still tired and I hurt sometimes and breast feeding still hurts (I will write a separate post on breast feeding twins). Overall though, things are getting a little easier.

A lot of people ask me if twins are as difficult as I thought they would be; it is harder, way harder than I ever imagined. But, I have had the help of many people. My Mom helped out a lot that first week home. My ward brought meals three times a week for our first three weeks home (and for three weeks before the babies came). Matt was home with me for a month before going back to work. Momma Kimball brought meals, watched kids and helped put kids to bed. My friend, Elise, took Dan and Nicole away many times to play so all I had to worry about was the babies. I have ladies from the ward coming twice a week to hold babies for two hours so I can get a nap or get chores done. My sister Sarah has made meals, and shuttled Nicole to school and she came over at the drop of a hat when I went into labor to take care of my kids. I have had a plethora of help and it has been such a blessing. Don't know if I would have kept my sanity without the outpouring of help from all the people who love me.

So, I did it. I didn't know if I would be able to survive a twin pregnancy and twin babies, but I have made it this far and I am a little proud of me. It has been really scary and made me really nervous, but I am fairing better than expected with the help of everyone around me.

I really love these baby boys so much and every day when I see two babies in my bed or in my arms, I think, "Holy crap! I have two babies." And I am not sure if or when that will wear off.


Marie said...

You are super woman! I can't imagine how hard it must be with twins AND two other kids! I wish I could help more, but I'm kinda worthless right now.

Lisa D said...

Your twins look as healthy as full-term babies! I'm glad all of you are doing well despite the difficulties in the beginning.

Adrianne Miller said...

I'm so happy you blogged! I am also so happy for you to have such cute babies! You seriously looked great pregnant with twins!