Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Becky, that's my name. Say it again, it remains the same.

The receptionist at my work stepped in a hole and broke her leg in three places. This is unpleasant for her, but more importantly, it is unpleasant for me because I have been told to temporarily take her place at the front desk as the receptionist. Granted, I don't have to sit up here the whole time, I'm doing this in shifts with other ladies in the office, but still, it is in the realm of not fun.
Let me explain to you why being the receptionist is sucktastic. The receptionist is the lowest form of life in a company. She (I saw she because Bill does not believe men can or should be receptionists) is given and required to do all the meanial jobs that no one else wants to do. AND, as receptionist, you are just suppose to smile and thank the giver of the work for giving you work! It is really a degrading and unappreciated position.
So, I dislike this having to sit at the front desk and fill in for Sherrill (receptionist) because suddenly, I'm being given work like faxing, mailing and filing, that kind of thing. Work that the giver could do themself, they just don't want to. GRRR....
Additionally, I have to work for this radio station of very loud and very annoying women and do things for them and bring them down to the studio and they lord over me like they are better than me because I happen to be sitting at the front desk today. This is annoying.
Moreover, people tend to blame the receptionist for everything because she is the first person that any person sees or talks to in the company. I'm tired of people asking me for money that I do not have and blaming me for any problem that they are having. This is not the highlight of fun.
In conclusion, I miss my cubicle and I miss my job that doesn't involve answering the phone or talking to people.
What is the opposite of funtastic about your job? This is your chance to complain, so take it!

4 comments:

Justin said...

My job involves jumping around in cool poses wearing black and totally flipping out and killing people. That's right, I'm a Ninja.

Which brings me to my next point. Becky, I might have a solution for your little work problem, and it's actually a solution so simple that many business owners and managers/entreprenuers overlook. It can cut company costs, eradicate the problems of downsizing and layoffs, and even promote good company morale among your employees. What is this miracle solution, you ask? Ninjas!

Ninjas are a businessman's best friend. One of your suppliers not providing you with enough product before deadline? Ninjas kill his family. Need to let a few people go but don't want a huge lay-off incident? Ninjas kill your surplus employees. Bad morale in the office? Ninjas kill anyone who isn't happy to be there.

It's all so simple, and it can work for you too, Becky. Let me illustrate a few examples for your situation:

Scenario: Someone gives you some things to file simply because they don't want anyone to know they never learned alphabetical order.

Solution: A Ninja pops out from the ceiling light where he was hiding, grabs the papers to be filed, quickly folds them into a perfect shuriken, and throws them at him, slicing his head clean off. File that, suckah!!

Scenario: Someone gives you something to mail because they never learned how to count how many stamps is one stamp.

Solution: A Ninja pops out of the Outgoing Mail Folder, headbuts the jerk to stun him and then quickly stabs him between his ribs into his lungs with two very sharp envelopes. Maybe first he sticks postage stamps over his eyelids to make it more funny.

Scenario: Loud, Very Annoying Radio Women.

Solution: Ninja steals their keys to their SUV's and then stabs them right in the throat with their own keys. No voicebox, no problem.

Well there you have it, I hope this gives you some exciting new business ideas. I've been in this business for quite some time now and I have to say, it's really taking off. Soon we'll be seeing Ninjas in every workplace...or not seeing them, as the case may be. Good luck!

Becky said...

You're hired!
Can't stop laughing...
You are like a Ninja business solutions God.

Marie said...

If only Justin could use his over-active and very detailed imagination for good...

Becky said...

Alas, he only uses his power for evil