Watching My Tongue

Nicole as a Pirate

So, when Nicole started to parrot everything that I say (like at 18 months), I decided to try and clean up my language a little. I don't swear, and I don't bad talk, but I have been known to say the Mormon swears, "crap," "dangit," "gosh," and "heck."

But, because I still need to say something when I am feeling exasperated or frustrated, I needed some sort of new substitute for my old words. So, I now have, "rats," "goodness," "flibberty gibbit," and "confoundit."

But, one word that I had trouble phasing out was "crap." I just couldn't seem to stop myself from saying it. So, I decided to do it in phases. "Crap" became "Crepe." I would start to say "crap" and would change it after I got out the first two consonants, "Crrrrr......epe." Then, I changed it again, trying to get away from gesticulating about french pastries, "Crrrrrr.....ipe." And then one more time, "Cripes." Which seemed to stick because it sounded old timey and okay.

Then, the other night, Nicole was playing with her toys and something didn't go her way and I heard, "Awwww, cripes!" come out of her mouth. First, it was really cute, and then I realized that despite changing my upset words, I'm still passing on formulation of language to my children. Do I really want my children to have upset words that mean nothing at all except "Blast! I'm upset!" in their speech patterns? No. I hate that I do it. I hate that it is so hard to change the way that I speak, that I have to catch myself and change my words and that I am so used to speaking that way that it is hard to stop. I don't want that for my kids.

So, I will have to find a way to be silent or express myself in multiple words rather than one word speech explosions.