Well, I am twenty five weeks along and only 15 left to go. Yay! I feel like I've been counting down to the day that I am not pregnant anymore. Probably because I am. Some women love pregnancy and say that it is a beautiful miracle. I say that the baby has demented their mind and made them forget what pregnancy really feels like. Because babies have an evil conspiracy to make women have more babies and the only way to do that is to make them forget the horrors of pregnancy. Evil babies!
Luckily, I have this blog to remind me of the week-by-week unpleasantries of pregnancy. I have sheltered my viewers from the especially yucky parts of pregnancy just because it is too ucky to discuss.
The last couple weeks have been almost uneventful in the pregnancy. I would have to say it is the most normal that I have felt in six months. But, as I am in the final stretch of my second trimester, I realize that the third will make me almost as miserable as my first trimester.
Yesterday, my nausea returned in full force. It was like the beginning parts of pregnancy all over again where nothing sounded good and I felt horrible. Plus, the baby decided to test her boundaries and see if she could turn upside down. But, she only made it half way there and laying horizontally inside me. It hurt like the dickens and she gave me all new stretch marks to add to my collection. I have so many now that I can't even begin to count them. I blame my mother for those genetics. Plus, my baby is mean. I can't imagine that being squished in a horizontal position that limits her space is comfortable, but she did it anyway. Which leads me to assume that she did it just to injure me. Mean baby.
Additionally, the baby has learned to kick my bladder. This means that I feel like I need to use the bathroom even when I really don't. She also kicks me in the middle of the night so that I have nightmares about being beaten and I wake up, only to realize that it is just my fetus beating me from the inside.
I've recently realized that I lose my breath when I bend over, if I can bend over at all. My ever growing belly likes to prevent me from bending over at all. Plus, I can't stand on one foot any more because one foot cannot support my weight and immediately begins to swell when it is used too much.
My back hurts me on a daily basis and continues to get mad at me for the weight I am putting on the front of me. I'm thinking that my back might start an anti-baby campaign from all the pain that the baby is causing it. I'd be in full support of such a campaign if I didn't already love my baby.
I know that I still have a long way to go before this baby stops living inside of me, so I'm hoping that maybe things won't get worse. But, I hear that when the baby is born, she will just present a whole new set of problems. I'm starting to think that kids are just this long and painful process of giving that never gets returned. I will NEVER be payed back for all this physical pain that I am going through. Plus, I will have to raise the baby and give more to her and I'm thinking that there won't be a good return on that either.
In light of all this realization as I am experiencing this "miracle" of motherhood, I want to take this opportunity to thank my own mother. I didn't realize all the physical sacrifice that she put in to giving me life. Plus, she took care of me for like 18 years. And, I was not an easy child to take care of because I was sick all the time. And, believe it or not, when I'm sick, I'm a little bit of a complainer. I don't handle not feeling well well. My Mom is one amazing woman! Not only because she did this for me, but because she did it for my six siblings as well. She either must really love pain, or she must really love kids. It is hard to tell which one wins in her book.
I wish that I could say that I would pay my mother back for all she has done for me, but in reality, I can't because I'm not willing to devote 18 years of my life back to her. I'm busy preparing to devote those years to children of my very own. So, she will have to settle for my occasional help with random tasks like setting up her Christmas tree or helping her scrapbook. This does not even begin to settle my debt though. I'm hoping that there is some great reward for motherhood in the next life because someone should be paying women back for all the crap they go through. So, Mom, I love you and thank you for all you have done and all you continue to do for me. Maybe, when you are old and decrepit, I will take care of you... or pay to put you in a home, and then I can begin to pay you back for all you have done for me.
Anthon as Homer
3 years ago
10 comments:
You better hope that none of your future children read this blog. They will think that you hate them.
Ha ha...her future children won't read for a long time yet, and there's always the ability to delete, or lie to them and say, "Mommy is not writing a blog, she is making funny pictures on the computer, go play with dolls or something". Babies sound mean...good thing they're cute.
You are hilarious! Your randomness kills me. I especially love that you told your mom you may pay to put her in a home to help pay her back for everything she's done for you. Sounds like a fine plan to paying her back. *rolls eyes* LOL
Whatever! If my children ever read this they will feel so bad for the torture that they inflicted upon me. I never say that I don't like my baby; I just say that the baby doesn't like me!
I love her, I'm just thinkin' that she must hate me because she is mean to me.
Trust me--the first time you hold your little one is more than enough payback to make the last nine months worth all the pain and suffering and vomitting and swelling, etc. The next 18 years might be another story, but at least you start out even. :)
I would just like to say that women who say they love pregnancy are the biggest liars I've ever met.
You are getting very close to done. As soon as I hit twenty weeks, I am going to start counting down. I also agree that babies trick you into forgetting how hard pregnancy is. Cause why would you ever have two if you remembered??
I read somewhere that women actually have a hormone that "makes" you forget the pain and such associated with pregnancy. Hmm.....
It's all an evil conspiracy.
Jasmine has already been tricked! She has had her baby and now doesn't remember pregnancy. Poor Jasmine. We will have to grieve for her.
I finally had a few moments to read your blogs. It's nice to be appreciated. I went through pregnancy because I loved you all. I have always wanted to experience creating new life. To me it is a wonderful miracle in spite of the aches & pains. Holding your tiny baby in your arms is worth it all, and your friend is right, you do forget the intensity of the unpleasantness of the experience after it is all over. Because it is all new to you now, it can seem overwhelming at times, but your next pregnancy won't seem so intense because you know more what to expect. So the advice I give to you is to look for the positives and appreciate the days you feel well...and remember it is all TEMPORARY!
MOM
p.s. please don't just stick me in a facility when I'm old and decrepid (next year).
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