How We Met: Our First Dates

Becky Summer of 2006

I’ve been reading a lot of “How We Met” stories on other’s blogs and I wanted to record mine. Last time, I wrote the Prequel and you can find that here. This time, I’m going to tell you the story of how we dated.

June 30, 2006 was our very first date. Why do I remember the exact date? Because, I’m a freak who places sentimental values on specific days.

Our first date was also the first time we met, since we had only had email and telephone conversations. So, just to make it safe, I didn’t want him to know where I lived until I knew that he wasn’t a crazy person who was going to murder me in my sleep. We agreed to meet at Rock Canyon park and then we would go on the date from there. 

I got to the park first and I had brought a book to read, of course, so I was reading a book, sitting on a giant boulder at Rock Canyon park when I saw Matt for the first time. He pulled up in his ultra clean (and brand new) black, Saturn Ion and I saw this tall, blonde, handsome man with piercing blue eyes and I couldn’t help but smile because I was so happy that his pictures were not an exaggeration, but he really was the good looking guy that I had expected.

Matt tells me that he was impressed by my looks right away, but I was pretty good looking at the time. I had waist length brown hair that I had in waves and I was college thin. Ah, those were the pre-baby days.

We took Matt’s car to Tepanyaki in Provo, which I had never been too before. It was fun because we got the show of the Hibachi chef while we were eating, but it was also a little awkward because we were sharing a table with other people who we didn’t know. But, I was immediately impressed by the fact that he took me to a place that was not super cheap, but also not super expensive. If a guy took me to a super cheap place, I always kinda felt like the guy didn’t like me enough to spend money on me. But, if a guy took me to a super expensive place, I always felt guilty about the cost of the food and would order a less expensive item on the menu (like a salad) so that I wasn’t forcing the guy to spend too much. But, Matt obviously knew what he was doing. He had been around the dating block before. 

As all first dates go, there was plenty to talk about because we had everything to learn about each other. I found it so easy to talk to Matt and dinner wasn’t too awkward. I remember that this was also the night that I tried scallops for the first time because Matt ordered them and he insisted that I try them when he discovered I had never had them before. My belief that I would not like them proved to be true. Justified! But, Matt tells me that this act of trying something new impressed him because it proved that I wasn’t afraid to try new things.

After dinner, Matt took us to Blockbuster (back when those still existed). He let me pick out a movie, then, we went over to Albertson’s (back when those existed too) and let me pick out whatever snacks that I wanted. Then, he drove me back to Rock Canyon park, spread out a blanket, whipped out his fancy, portable dvd player (which was really new and cool at the time) and we watched a movie and ate our snacks in our own personal outdoor theater. Now, normally, I would discourage watching a movie on a first date because you can’t talk during a movie and it is just two hours in chairs, staring at a screen. But, Matt did it smart. We were able to pause the movie when we wanted to say something and we had an awesome snack selection and I was able to stretch out on the blanket. I felt so comfortable with Matt. Even though I had just met him, I felt relaxed, I felt excited and I felt really happy.

And then, it started raining… or maybe it was the sprinklers. My journal says that it started raining, but my memory says the sprinklers… so it was something with water that forced us out of our outdoor theater and into the car. Now, if I were counseling my daughter on the do’s and don’ts of dating, I would advise against sitting in the backseat of a car with a guy she had just met… but, that is exactly what I did. As we sat in the back of the car, I felt that happy, twiterpated feeling that I sometimes get about a guy. He was easy going, he was intelligent, he was funny, and he was… happy, which was so different from the person who I had previously dated. It was refreshing and wonderful to be around someone who was happy and comfortable to be around. My heart lifted while I was with him and it was exciting and new. 

I must admit that on that first date, I snuggled with Matt in the back of his car and we held hands while finishing up our movie. Normally, I don’t hold hands with a guy until I am dating him because hand holding is very intimate and it is sort of a statement. You see a couple walking down the street and they are just a couple of people. You see a couple walking down the street holding hands and you know they are together. But, I must admit I was intensely infatuated with Matt. I liked him right away. There were no thoughts in my mind of, “Well, he is nice, but not very attractive, maybe I will like him more when I got to know him better.” Which is what I had thought multiple times before with other guys that I had dated. There was no question in me, I liked him right away. He made me feel all butterfly-ey and giddy in a teenage girl way (though I totally played it cool on the date). Matt confessed to me (later) that he had never held hands with a girl on the first date before, so that he felt something special about me right away too. The first date was a definite success. When he dropped me off at home that night, I secretly hoped that I would hear from him again.

The next day, Matt called me and asked me out again. He felt that since he liked me so much that there was no reason to wait to ask me out again (honesty is so refreshing in a guy!). But, I had a date with another guy that night, so, he invited me over to dinner at his house the following night (yes, three dates in three days). I mentioned this other guy in my previous post. He was a friend from high school that I had been going out with a lot since my Gloomy Gus break up, we shall call him… Estaban (he was Mexican, but that was not his name). I knew Estaban was hoping to date me exclusively, but I was very up front with him that I was dating a lot of people and wasn’t ready for a boyfriend yet. So, I didn’t feel too guilty about going out with Matt.

For our second date, I let Matt pick me up at my apartment; trust had been earned so I thought he could know where I lived. He took me to his apartment, which he shared with his sister, Anne, and her husband, Carlos. I got to meet Anne and Carlos when we got there and then they cleared out to go to a fireside while we cooked dinner. Yes, Matt invited me to dinner on a Sunday, which some would say is inappropriate, but it was just making and eating dinner together. Matt cooked orange pork loin, rosemary and garlic roasted potatoes, and parmesan green beans. I helped him cook and marveled at his masterful cooking skills as I (at the time) did not know how to cook anything more complicated than soup. Seeing his him cook me dinner and seeing how close he was with his family made me like him even more. I know now that he was trying to impress me and it totally worked, I was impressed and smitten. 

After our second date, I liked him more than ever. I was happy, excited, attracted, and couldn’t stop smiling. I had not felt this way about someone… ever. With my past boyfriends (there were 7 previous boyfriends), I usually wasn’t initially attracted to them, but with many dates, I found myself liking them. I always felt like my boyfriends were a bit of a project. Almost all of them had never dated a girl before, never kissed a girl before, and were pretty much clueless. Also, the previous guys were around my own age (22). 

Matt was unlike anyone I had ever dated before. He was 5.5 years older than me (27), he had had girlfriends before, he had a solid job, and he was blonde. I know it is a small thing, but I had never before dated a blonde; brunettes, red heads, Polynesians, and Mexicans, but never a blonde. I just had never been attracted to a blonde man before. Maybe it was because of these things that he was so exciting to me, but I think it also may have been because I needed to date someone drastically different from what I had dated before to appreciate what I had been missing all those years.

When Matt took me home on our second date, he asked me to go out with him the next night (July 3^rd). I don’t remember what it is that we did for our third date, but I do remember that it was the night of our first kiss. When he dropped me off at my apartment, he asked me if he could kiss me and I said he could. I was so excited for this kiss. We had been on our first three dates in four days and I felt so attracted to him. Our hand holding and snuggling had been so nice that I knew that our first kiss would be magical. We were on my doorstep and he leaned in to kiss me and then… it was wet and awkward and our lips didn’t meet quite right and it was not good. I was so surprised because I thought for sure that kissing Matt would be awesome… but it wasn’t (Matt felt the same as well). I laugh about this now because I know what the problem was. The problem was that I was used to kissing someone else and I went to kiss him using the technique that I had used to kiss my past boyfriend, and it just didn’t work out. I had yet to learn to kiss well universally. I’m probably still not good at this, but that is okay because I only needed to learn how to kiss MATT well.

Despite our awkward first kiss, I was still drawn to Matt. I still liked him and I knew that given time, I would figure out how to kiss him properly. And I did, it just took some practice, but I will save that story for another time.